I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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