She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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