Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
