she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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