and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
