My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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