You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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