Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
