I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
