Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm always down for nudity.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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