Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
