Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
