Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
