one might say we're banned from that church
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am never drinking with the goths again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
