My friends, they love my intelligence
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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