One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
