just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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