Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize