I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
