I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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