Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
