You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
