When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
