Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
