Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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