I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
