my vag is so smooth its legendary
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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