Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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