Nicole vs. Life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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