We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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