I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
