i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my liver is dry heaving
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
