I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
