I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
