Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
