going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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