No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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