dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
