I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
