Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
