Your face is a jimmy john
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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