I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
