I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this boner is exhausting
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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