I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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