i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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