There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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