I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
