I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
