he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And then he peed in my hair
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