dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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