The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize