Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
