Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
