Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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