new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
