i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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