I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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