I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
