Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
