It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
