He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
third nipple confirmed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
