worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
