I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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