Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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