Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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