I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
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Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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