i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
