you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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