How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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