Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
