i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
